Joy+Full

This is a something I wrote over a year ago, but it was a week in which my figurative cups were dumped on the floor, but quickly filled up by those who are in my life. For those people, thank you.  

You know that feeling when you drive up to your favorite coffee shop and use your fancy phone app that miraculously still has some money left on it and you are going to have a good day because it is a good day to have a good day {always.} You smile and giggle and catch-up with your favorite boho but well-adjusted barista all in the span of 34 seconds while she ceremoniously puts a sleeve on the cup and a stopper in the lid and you think how this great exchange is going to bleed into every area of your life. And it almost does.

But then, you go to put your mug down in the cup holder and dread washes over you as you realize your cup holders are full. It’s okay, you can just put the other ones in the cup holders in the back. But then those are full too. Next option: put them on the ground. But you’re filled with more dread because you still have some coffee left in all three and wonder what kind of monster you are. You spend $6 on sugar and cream and magic beans and you don’t even have the decency to finish it. And now your carefree 34 seconds has turned into a frantic what-feels-like-forever panic session of trying to figure out where to put your phone, your new hot drink, and how to drive out of the drive-thru because the person behind you who always has money left on their fancy phone app and most definitely empty cup holders is probably going to rear-end you out of the way if you don’t hurry up.

This feeling of panic washed over me this past week as a dear friend sat in my passenger seat. I breathily apologized as I realized there was nowhere else to put our cups and we giggled about our lives and how this is a good analogy for our mid-twenties. There is this social media driven notion of filling your cup; filling your cup with the good things that give you space from work, responsibilities, and maybe even the fact that we are growing up. And let me tell you that my cup is overflowing, so much so that I might need a few more cups and cupholders. I have people in my life who blow me away with their drive, passion, kindness, and mere presence in my life. I work in two jobs that honor my development and asks me what they can do to make my dreams come true. I have a family of friends and friends that are family. But sometimes, I get too busy filling these countless cups that I forget to take care of the old ones.

It is a breeze to keep filling your cup holders without creating space for it first, especially with something as simple as a scan to your phone screen. It is easy to want what you don’t have now, without thinking about where it might end up {like on the floor of your car} or if you have the space for it in the first place. Do you even want the new cup, or is it a product of a habit you have found comfort in? Are you turning your back on tried-and-true classics {like making coffee at home…} for the new overpriced drink that everyone has normalized?

The question I am reflecting on this week is how I am taking care of the cups I already have and what space I need to make{or don’t}for the ones not in my life.